Unforgiven Sins
by angelicbaby232
Summary: *After being sent back from Hell, Angel is visited by many of his past victims, some of which send him important messages.*


Authors Note: Okay. I wrote this before season seven, before the First was revealed for the second time. Let's pretend this isn't the First haunting Angel, but something else. =)  
  
Set in the third season of Buffy. At the beginning of the season, during the time Buffy is bringing him blood and he is still trying to get used to being back.  
  
Unforgiven Sins  
  
A tall, broad figure could be made out as the flames from the large, stone fireplace rose behind him. The mansion had been cold, yet it didn't really matter to the vampire, the fire just calmed him. He sat and thought. His guilty conscience often haunted him when he sat alone. He always considered how many souls he had tortured.. how many families he had shattered. He wanted to know why he was back... why someone or something gave him another chance for this to happen again. He wanted to know why there was a source willing enough to hand him the chance to kill again. Because everybody knew it could happen again.  
  
Angel closed his eyes and tried to block everything out. Tried to block out his many, many years of killing and torturing, maiming. He rested his head in his hands and shifted in his seat.  
  
Sometimes it made him crazy. Sometimes he felt like ripping out into the sun, how it would feel to take all the pain away.. to be a pile of dust... but he knew he couldn't. He felt sadness rise in his body.. in his soul. He held everything back and remembered the good thing that was important to him. He couldn't do that to Buffy. Buffy was the only person he had. For her, he lived. He went on each day, because of Buffy. He loved her and would hate himself for leaving her... he couldn't leave her with pain. But, now he was back. He was back and was still trying to adjust fully.  
  
Angel felt something... he didn't know what, but it made the hairs on his arms stand up, he looked up slowly. "OH!" He gasped and jumped backwards. A girl, about ten or eleven. Rather cute, with long dark hair and big chocolate brown eyes. "Kathy..."  
  
Kathy moved towards him slowly, she looked up at him slowly and shook her head. "An embarrassment to our family, Liam." His sister spoke slowly to him as she invaded the large bare spot he was cornered in to. "You killed us.. mother, and father... and me. Your own family." Her distinct, Irish accent was just as he had remembered.  
  
He was backed into the corner, shaking. "Oh, God. No, Kathy. Please.. no, I'm better now."  
  
"You're NOT better!" She screamed and reached out to him. Tears streaked her young and innocent face. What was she, he wondered. "Your a sick.. filthy creature. Must die.. must die..."  
  
It was a threatening chant and Angel pulled his hands over his head and hid in his arms as he sunk into the corner, shaking. Her voice traveled into his head, and it made him realize she wasn't really there. She couldn't be. She was... dead. No, no. He couldn't think it. It haunted him, that very night, remembering as he took the young girl in his arms and drank his own sister. He slowly lifted his face to look at her. He stood up.  
  
"No.. no, Kathy. It's not you." He said, his voice shaking with fear.  
  
"Oh, but it is me. You know it, Liam. You killed me that night and I'm back for revenge." She said, her sweet face staring into his eyes, burning a hole into his soul.  
  
"..I - I have a soul now." He said, promise in his voice. It hurt him to see his sister's face. Hurting.. yet angry.  
  
"You don't have a soul... you have no heart. You killed me... murdered mother and father.. and you deserve what you're going to get." She reached her hand out to him, and placed it on his right cheek and suddenly her face changed into another woman. A stunning red head. He gasped when he saw her. Oh, how could he forget. One of many red heads he had killed, they were always his favorites.  
  
"Oh, Angelus." She whispered, caressing his cheek, tears streamed from his face when he looked into her hurting eyes. "Filthy bastard..." She whispered, pulling her hand back and slapping him hard, making his head jerk to the side as he let out a cry of pain. He knew he was acting like a scared little rabbit.. but he was so frigthened and confused.  
  
"Oh, god... Jessee." He whispered, his hand over his cheek.  
  
"You remembered my name? Impressive." She replied sarcastically. Her figure formed into long red velvet dress, with a long train in the back, and her still stunning red hair twisted into a curly bun at the crown of her head. She was your classic Irish woman, back when she was alive. Her bright eyes stared into him. "We're all back, Angelus... and we're not planning on leaving until we get what we want."  
  
"What do you want from me?!" Angel yelled in fear as he stumbled backwards.  
  
"We want what you want." She reached for his shoulders and held him up from falling to his knees.  
  
"What do I want...?" He said in true confusion.  
  
"To leave this place. Angelus.. think about it. You could be what you were again... you could be a powerful source. You were a legend. You were what everybody was afraid of. Now you're nothing. Come back... be your true self.. before you make the biggest mistake of your life.." She whispered the last few words so only she could hear him. He was confused.. his eyes darting around as he sweated and panted heavily.  
  
"Oh.. God. NO! Get away from me!" He pushed her backwards, throwing her roughly to the floor. "Please.. just.. leave me alone." He cried. She looked up from the floor and glared at him.  
  
"You don't belong in this world... you never did. You really belong back in HELL where your girlfriend put you in the first place. That must be where she wanted you, right?" She stood up and stared at him. "Ah, well. That's a perfect token of her love for you, huh?" She said sarcastically, as she dusted the dirt off of her dress. "Somehow... someway... you'll be what you were again!" She, yet again, changed. He closed his eyes and tried to prepare himself for who was to come. She formed into a younger girl. With brown hair and dark eyes. He had to think way back to his earliest days to remember her. It was Lauri... it was one of Kathy's friends! Everything started coming back to him.  
  
It was a cool night... he breathed heavily.. he had been running fast, chasing Lauri through the fields. He had a slight smile on his face. Knowing he was going to kill her. Soon, he finally caught her and pulled her into his arms. She cried out for anybody.. anything. He fed on that fear... he smiled at her.  
  
"Shh.. my dear, Lauri. It doesn't really hurt..." He grabbed her hair, making her look right at him. He held her tight against his body, knowing Darla was standing straight behind him, cheering him on quietly.  
  
"Bite her... bite her..." She whispered.  
  
"No.. please, no." Lauri cried. Angelus brought his mouth to her neck, and --  
  
Lauri looked at him and tilted her innocent face, breaking him from his flashback. "You were always so nice to me. Kathy just adored you. Do you rememeber when you used to play with us? " She knew she was torturing him, as she made him think about his past. And it was what she wanted. She looked confused. "Or has your poor tortured soul made you too numb to remember me, Liam?" She asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"I.. I remember." He said. She was slightly less terrifying than Kathy and Jessee. "I'm.. so sorry."  
  
"Sorry for what?" She asked, staring down at the frightened vampire. "Killing me... not letting me see the rest of my young life? You just turned into a horrid monster. I wanted to say something. I really did. That night when I watc hed you kill you own family. They must hate you now... watching your every move. I know I did.." He stared down at the floor, ashamed. Why wasn't he fighting back? Why couldn't he bring himself to toss her across the room? Because he knew he deserved what he got.  
  
"Please! Leave me alone! I'm sorry for what I've done... I really am!" He sobbed. "Please!" With that one simple scream.. Lauri vanished.. and to his surprise she didn't turn into another one of his victims. "Oh.. thank God."  
  
He whimpered and breathed heavily as his drowned into the corner, covering his head with his hands.  
  
"Oooh, AANNGEELUS. My dear, Angelus." The sing song, Irish-accented voice seemed as if it weren't even real. He breathed heavily.  
  
"No.. go away." He said, not looking up.  
  
"Oh, you know I can't. You know, when I first met you, back in the 1700's I thought you were a nice man." She said. He could hear her voice coming closer as he felt a cold hand on is bare shoulder. "Angelus, look at me."  
  
He shakily lifted his head and looked at her. She was just as beautiful as he had remembered. Beautiful dark blue eyes and the most beautiful golden hair. She wore a light green dress, hugging her perfectly shaped body. Her hair was curled and hung to her waist. "Laurel..?"  
  
"Yes. It's me." Her voice soothed him and took him back to the day he killed her...  
  
He remembered taking advantage of her job as a sherpardess. He was going to drive her insane, make her the second Drusilla.  
  
Angelus watched her from behind a few crates, he watched Laurel's eyes widen and her mouth wide in horror as she let a a high-pitched scream. She couldn't move, and he knew it. He smiled, satisfied. He watched her fall to her knees and cover her eyes at the sight in front of her. Sheep.. slaughtered everywhere. White fur and legs and heads.. everywhere. Blood stained the grass. He counted down the seconds until the perfect time to dive out and grab her would be. Finally, he did. He fought her against the ground.  
  
"It was you.." She whispered to him.  
  
"Yes, my dearest Laurel. Now, you must come with me... I've got a little surprise." He said, picking her up off the ground. She kicked and screamed, but there was no one around to see or hear her. He carried her over through the fields and onto the street. Now you're going to be a good little shepardess," he chuckled, "and your going to walk with me, and if you run, I'll kill you." He put her down and her followed him, she figured the best thing to do would to be not to speak up, but anger rose within her for what he did to her sheep.  
  
"Where's your little whore at? The one with the blonde hair that follows you around like a lost puppy?" She asked, not looking at him.  
  
"Keep your mouth closed, my dear. We're going to be there soon." He said, no emotion what-so-ever in his voice.  
  
Laurel brought him back from his flashback. "Thinking back, my dear?" She asked, circling him.  
  
"Yes.. when.. I killed your sheep.." He whispered, breathing heavily, though unnecessary. He was sweating and shaking.  
  
"Then.. you took me back to my very OWN house and slaughtered my family in front of me." She said simply.  
  
"I'm sorry." He was calming.. slightly. She hadn't been mean or slapped him like Jessee had. He still had put up that wall.. where he wasn't going to let himself believe she wasn't going to harm him.  
  
"..I bet you said that to all of them.. 'I'm sorry..'." She walked around his mansion, reaching into the fire, her finger tips over the flames.  
  
"Tell me what you are.." He demanded, pulling himself up off of the ground, he's shirt wide open and unbuttoned, he suddenly wondered how it got like that.  
  
"..I'm nothing." She whispered, turned to face him, she was so angelic. "Pure light and air.."  
  
Angel looked away. "What do you want?"  
  
"I'm sure someone has already answered that question." She said, positive. "You just didn't like the answer. The truth. You killed us.. you deserve to be nothing.. like me." Her evil side was coming out now.  
  
"Look.." Angel's lip quivered.. he was about to blurt out his apology for the millionth time, when she changed again. She was different this time. Seeing her made him slam himself up against the wall.  
  
It was the girl he'd been afraid of seeing.. Lisa. Buffy's friend.  
  
Lisa had known Buffy was dating an older man, and Lisa thought he was so handsome. When he asked to speak to her alone, he was unaware that he was soulless. She was a stunning girl, she was African American, but Angel knew there was something else. Indian, he assumed as he stared at her long dark hair. That was when he killed her, drained her in the back of the Bronze where nobody could hear her.  
  
"Did I scare you?" She asked, walking close to him.  
  
"I'm sorry.." Angel let out.  
  
"Shh.. Angel I know. I want to help you.." She whispered, caressing his face with her hand. "I know that your sorry.. that wasn't you." He couldn't stand this, he remembered seeing the pain on Buffy's face when she saw Lisa's drained body and how he laughed, pleased at what he'd done.  
  
"Help me..?" He asked, confused as he pulled himself away from the wall.  
  
"Yes. You have to come with me.." She said, taking his hand. "I want to show you something." He was hesitant at first, but he walked about a step with her. She sliced her other hand in the air and created a glowing portal. "Trust me.." She said as she pulled him into it. He closed his eyes. "Open up.."  
  
Angel opened his eyes and saw Buffy's room. There she was, with her friend Willow.  
  
"I think worse is still coming.. right now I'm just trying to keep from dying.." Buffy said before resting her head in Willow's lap.  
  
"What? Buffy.. don't cry." Angel spoke up, stepping forward, he felt a force push him back and suddenly he was alone in his mansion.  
  
What was Buffy crying for? What had happened.. where was Lisa? He sighed. The glowing portal that had been there now took the form of a man.. that stood about five foot ten. He had brown hair, parted to the left. He was wearing old fashioned clothes and Angel had to think back.. Jeremy, he suddenly remembered. He was wearing a long sleeved green T-shirt and brown old fashioned pants. Angel had killed him in the mid 1800s, just days before the curse, that was what was so memorable about him.  
  
"I suppose you saw the Slayer, already.." Jeremy said to him, walking up close to Angel.  
  
"Yes.. why? What did it mean?" He asked him, desperate.  
  
"Oh, you didn't see it all.." Jeremy shrugged. "Too late to show you now."  
  
Angel growled deep in his throat, completely fed up now. "Show me, damn it!" He grabbed Jeremy by his shirt and slammed him against the wall.  
  
"Take it easy.." He whispered to Angel. He reached his arms to Angel's head and a source of energy entered his mind. He fell to the ground. Visions flashing before him..  
  
"I'm leaving, after it's all over with the Mayor and Faith.." Angel said, seeing the hurt look on Buffy's face, made his dead heart ache.  
  
Then, the flash changed. "Drink me.. " He watched himself falling on top of Buffy, drinking her blood.. then a flash of himself carrying her into the hospital, yelling for help.  
  
Finally, this flash was slower, he was transported into the vision, he was standing behind Buffy as he watched himself walk away.. into the smoke and out of her life. He felt himself fall to the ground again...  
  
Angel came out of the visions with a groan. He was by himself. He rolled onto his back and spread his body out, resting for a moment. And for once, he felt safe. "Oh, God.." He whispered to himself, not bothering to wipe the glistening sweat dripping from his brow.  
  
"Angel?" The familiar voice echoed in the mansion and the vampire scrambled to his feet when he spotted the blond at the door of the mansion. "What's wrong?" she asked, seeing how he stood up so quickly.  
  
Angel took a haulting step forward and she reached out, giving him the bag of blood. But he didn't speak. He took the bag from her and sat it on he table.  
  
"Angel. Say something.." Buffy said, staring hard at him, trying to find any sign of emotion.  
  
The vampire opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't. Placing his arms around her, when he stepped forward, he gripped her shoulders, using her as support. "Angel.." she whispered.  
  
"Buffy, I.." he began before almost falling on top of her as he supported himself almost fully on her shoulders, leaning forward almost helplessly. It was too much, Buffy had sunk to the ground, landing on her knees, she shifted until she was sitting flat on the ground, her legs lying straight out. Angel sunk, too, and he shifted also, his head now lying in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and spoke softly, tears burning her own eyes as tears poured down his. "What's.. wrong?"  
  
Strangled sobs released from his throat and the vampire spoke hoarsly through sobs, "I'm so sorry.."  
  
Buffy's brow furrowed and concern grew heavier on her face as she felt his hot tears seeping through her shirt. "Angel.." she said breathlessly.  
  
Authors Note: Most likely only the first chapter. =) Feedback highly needed. 


End file.
